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The Well-Grounded Yuppie

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Friday, May 09, 2008

Guy Decoder From I-Village

While doing my usual dating research, I stumbled into random "guy decoder" from i-Village. I remember the site because I had a job-interview with their parent company, NBC-universal about a year ago. This "guy decider" is a list of explanations for girls on why guys do things they do. I got curious and decided to check on the article for "Why does he put his friends ahead of me", and the answer just sickened me.
It's with great reluctance that a man leaves the tribe of men to be with a woman. And often that's what it feels like to us: As a couple, people have entirely different social interactions, and for a man to be part of a couple usually means he can't hang with his buddies as often as he wants.

Your man just can't commit to the transition to couplehood -- it's the classic desire to want his cake and to want a stripper to pop out of it, too. But he needs to make a choice, doesn't he?

The bad news is he really might choose them over you. He might not be ready to be with you the way you want. Some men are just very slow to grow up.
The article described men as some kind of pre-human, using words like "leaves the tribe". "Can't commit to the transition of couplehood"? Maybe he can, and the woman's just too demanding of his time. A lot of times, the guy really isn't the problem, he CAN "commit to the transition of couplehood", but his version of "couplehood", not hers. And just because he doesn't enter a relationship in the exact same manner as she wished him to, he is "slow to grow up"?

It's these types of articles that make society how it is today. It's not uncommon for commitment seeking people to have more than 5 "meaningful relationships" before marriage, and today's divorce rates are higher than 50%.

Let's make a change: Instead of building unrealistic expectations by bashing each other and making society think everything is at fault of the opposite sex, more should be emphasized on "what can we do to help the situation" instead of "the bad news is...".


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Paul, What is your 'usual dating research?' How often do you research dating? Just curious.

5/09/2008 5:22 PM  
Blogger Paul Zhao said...

Well, I'm a marketing professional with a psyc minor, I frequently research all kinds of psyc related stuff with a strong emphasis on E-commerce and user behavior. But in the process, I stumble upon different parts of psyc, from statical psyc (assessments) to behavioral psyc to evolutionary psyc to NLP, to well, dating/attraction psyc.

5/09/2008 6:15 PM  

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